Dear readers,
Shelbyville Common Council member Linda Sanders has suggested rebranding the city with a new motto to replace “Pride in Progress.”
Mayor Scott Furgeson recently mentioned that a company experienced in rebranding cities has a $100,000 proposal. The firm would include a wide variety of services to make the rebranding successful.
This week I received a letter on the topic. Enjoy!
Dear Kris,
On the topic of rebranding, it looks like the city is going to replace Pride in Progress. I enjoyed your column featuring suggestions for rebranding Shelbyville. My favorite suggestion was “Shelbyville, Gateway to Boggstown.”
My second favorite was “Shelbyville, Always More Lost Than Found.”
With the city getting a new brand, do you think it is time to rebrand your column? The whole “Schwinn” thing is getting a little bit stale. It just doesn’t have a cool vibe.
I realize to you it is like a favorite suit but now frayed around the edges. Think of me as your tailor. I have some mod ideas for a new brand for you. They came to me while sitting in my lawn chair beneath “The Helbing” meditating last week. The ideas really flowed. I weeded out the stupid ones.
Here are my seven best suggestions for rebranding your column. I honed it down to the best seven because it is a lucky number. From reading your column for 30 years, I have concluded that you need all the luck you can get.
- A Pity Column For Old-Timers
- A Weekly Message From The Helbing
- Horoscope For The Hopeless
- Your Weekly Serving of Quantum Soup
- A Message From The Oracle At The Helbing
- Notes From An Old-Timer’s Nap
- O Fortuna, The Shelbyville Edition
These suggestions are all being sent to you free of charge. In fact, I don’t want any recognition if you choose to use one of these suggestions. I prefer to remain anonymous.
Dear Anonymous,
Thanks for your suggestions. I just may need to rebrand. Rebranding has been a great success for many organizations and companies -- although the “New Coke” didn’t go over very well.
Among your ideas I like “Your Weekly Serving of Quantum Soup” the best. I once thought about calling my column, “Into This World We’re Thrown.”
Since The Shelby County Post is free, it’s difficult to tell if I really need to rebrand currently. However, I’ll admit that sales numbers for View From My Schwinn macaroni shapes hasn’t kept up with Paw Patrol or Sponge Bob Square Pants. Thanks again for the ideas and for being a long-time reader.
Several readers have asked me if I have any ideas of what to do with eclipse glasses now that the eclipse is over.
Well, I certainly wouldn’t get rid of the glasses. Mostly because it is a tradition in my family to never get rid of anything. I know it will be a few hundred years before another eclipse comes through Shelbyville, but the glasses do have other uses.
I like to keep a pair handy in my car for driving at night. You have probably noticed that some modern cars and trucks have high beams as bright as the sun. Just put your trusty eclipse glasses on when you see one of those vehicles approaching and you can prevent being blinded.
The eclipse glasses also make a fashion statement. You can wear them when just sitting by the pool this summer or anywhere you don’t really have to see.
See you all next week, same Schwinn time, same Schwinn channel.
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